Why do men often times want someone else for sex?
That was the main topic of conversation on HLN’s Dr. Drew Wednesday night.
Guest Noel Biderman says that women should stop glorifying monogamy and forgive unfaithful spouses who are only doing what comes naturally. He founded what some call "the cheaters' website," AshleyMadison.com. It has 14 million members, many, of whom, are married.
“I think the challenge is that monogamy isn't really well negotiated at the outset of a relationship,” Biderman said. “It’s not something that people tend to talk about truthfully and so they find themselves in long-term relationships, marriages and nothing they have really contemplated.”
He continued, “I think this is an eternal story. Infidelity has been around since we've been in relationships and it’s not going anywhere.”
However, Dr. Drew’s “Loveline” co-host Simone Bienne responded, “Most men who are intelligent understand the benefits of monogamy. Every single man that I have come across who has been unfaithful, hates himself for it. Men, I know, want to be monogamous.”
She also explained that it’s not that someone can’t find another individual to be attractive. It’s more about impulse control.
“And it’s about the richness of a relationship that gets diminished when people cheat,” Dr. Drew added. “If you look at every health parameter you can measure on a male, they're enhanced by monogamy -- life expectancy – probability of certain illnesses -- happiness – every measure you can come up with.”
Dr. Drew also noted that monogamy has a “healthiness to it," which needs to be maintained and nurtured.
“When you diminish it, you injure it and you decrease the probability you will get everything you need from it,” he said.
But Biderman fired back and said that the majority of people will be unfaithful at one point in their lives.
“They’re not necessarily doing it because of some sort of emotional short coming,” he stated. “Sometimes, they're doing it because of a pure biological and sexual desire and that [person] might be looking for something different than their partner can give them.”
Dr. Drew responded, “To talk about our evolutionary biology -- I think it's somewhat misplaced.”
Watch Dr. Drew Monday through Thursday on HLN at 9 pm. ET and follow the show on Twitter @DrDrewHLN.