You know you have a show that you watch with your boo. Now wouldn't you feel just an eensy bit betrayed if you found out they were watching ahead without you?
There's a term for that feeling: Netflix adultery. Is it the stuff of crumbling relationships? No, probably not, but it still hurts!
Netflix has even fessed up to being the wingman you never wanted, saying it's investigating this phenomenon of "watching ahead." The company says 51% of couples have copped to "cheating" with their favorite shows. Are you a victim?
Spoiler alert: You probably are. Watch for these signs to tell for sure:
Distraction: Holy crap, this is the VERY best part of the episode, and you reach over to grab their hand in mutual excitement and... they're fiddling with their phone. Are they texting their secret lover? Or are they not missing anything because they've ALREADY WATCHED IT?
Isolation: You come home late one night and your honeybunch is hunched over the laptop, lost in another world behind with the help of some headphones. It could be porn on the screen, or it could be something much worse: The season finale of "Breaking Bad."
Distance: Hubby has a bachelor party this weekend? Wifey has a business trip? The world is full of aspiring dental hygienists covered in body glitter and alpha male executives just waiting to woo your sweetie... with the latest episode of "Homeland." Watch your back.
'She's just a friend': Oh, your boyfriend sure is spending a lot of time at his tutor's house! He must be learning a lot...ABOUT ALL OF THE SHOWS HE WAS SUPPOSED TO WATCH WITH YOU.
Hesitation: You love having heated conversations about how much you loathe King Joffrey. But lately, you can feel your boo holding back, leaving sentences half unsaid. Are those lies they swallow on the tip of their tongue? Or is it a spoiler from an episode you haven't seen yet?
Conspiracy: Yeah, you TOTALLY have the whole season-ending to "Scandal" figured out! You want to talk passionately about it, but your pleading is met with silence. Have they already watched it? Worse yet, are their predictions really just things that they know have happened and they're just phrasing them like predictions so in reality they have just spoiled the entire episode for you?! Well, now you're just being paranoid (no you're not, it's all true).
Depression: Has your sugarlumps seemed down in the dumps? Perhaps they're dreaming of a better life, a life where the next season of "Game of Thrones" has already started, since they've already blown through Season 3 even though you pleaded with them to wait until you finished the next book.
Suspicion: You come home, and suddenly hear the TV click off. Is that frantic rewinding you sense a desperate attempt to hide the incriminating Resume button? You, my friend, have been NetflixAdultered.
Obsession: "True Blood" in your search history. "True Blood spoilers." "True Blood Season 6." "True Blood Wiki." "Sookie Stackhouse novels." If it's become an obsession, they've already left you far behind.
Proof: And the final blow. There it is, the latest episode, in the "Recently Watched" queue. They didn't even try to hide their folly. "This is incredibly stupid!" you think. "It's just a stupid show -- why would I possibly be hurt over this vastly insignificant breach of the very thinnest sort of trust?"
But you are. And it's OK.