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Spanking? Lying? Confessions of American moms!

NEED TO KNOW
  • What's really on the minds of American moms?
  • Raising America partnered with Parenting magazine to find out
Spanking? Lying? Confessions of American moms!

What are you willing to confess?

What are you willing to confess?

What kind of discipline works in your family?

What kind of discipline works in your family?

Editor's note: We partnered with Parenting magazine to survey moms about sex, relationships, kids and money. All week long, Raising America will bring you the top Confessions of American moms at 12 p.m. ET on HLN.  Here are the full results of the survey. Click here to make a confession!

EVERYDAY LIFE
 
Did you breastfeed your babies?
Yes, at least one - 27.3%
Yes, all my children - 46.9%
No - 25.8%
 
How did you feel about breastfeeding?
I really enjoyed breastfeeding - 49.4%
It was fine but I was ready to stop when the time came - 36.4%
I forced it because I thought I “should” - 14.2%
 
What was the main reason you didn't?
I didn't produce enough milk - 39.3%
Honestly, it grossed me out - 20.2%
Being at work made it challenging - 13.0%
Not applicable - 27.5%
 
Do you sometimes say "maybe" to something your child is bugging you about, even though you know there is no way in heck it is happening, just to get them off your back? 
Yes - 38.3%
Sometimes - 43.7%
Never - 17.9%
 
What's your go-to pacifier for your kid (other than an actual pacifier)? 
Screen time (TV, smartphone, videogames) - 65.3%
Snacks or beverages - 8.5%
Traditional toys and games (low tech, like Legos, dolls, etc.) - 19.6%
Other - 6.6%
 
Please tell us what you use as a go-to pacifier. n/a
 
What's the biggest bribe you've used on your kids?
Bought them an electronic item - 6.3%
Cash - 4.9%
A new toy - 36.6%
A favorite snack or treat - 44.0%
Other - 8.2%
 
What's the biggest cash bribe you've ever used? n/a
Please tell us what you've used as a bribe on your kids. n/a
 
Have you ever pretended not to see your child misbehaving at a social gathering?
Yes - 23.5%
No - 76.5%
 
How many times have you totally freaked out (yelled, threw something, left the room, etc.) on your kids?
Never - 10.4%
A few times - 59.9%
Once - 8.5%
Are you kidding me? It's a regular occurrence! - 21.2%
 
Have you ever spanked your kids, even once?
Yes - 46.9%
Not a full spank, but I’ve swatted them - 31.4%
Never - 21.7%
 
Have you ever fudged your child's age, to qualify for a cheaper kid's meal, train ride, or event/amusement park ticket?
Yes - 36.9%
No - 63.1%
 
Have you ever given your child a fever reducer so the daycare center or school couldn't tell he had a fever? 
Yes - 20%
No - 80%
 
Have you ever made up an excuse to get out of a school event, like a concert or picnic?
Yes - 30.7%
No - 69.3%
 
Have you ever lied to your child to get out of something you couldn't deal with (for example, saying you couldn't go to the toy store because it was closed)?
Yes - 48.4%
Sometimes - 25.8%
Never - 25.8%
 
Have you ever thrown out an invitation to a party your child received because you don't like the mom, the kid, or just couldn't bear to spend another precious Sunday afternoon sitting in an entertainment center/kids' gym?
Yes - 30.8%
No - 69.2%
 
Have you fibbed to a friend or in-law about your child's accomplishments, because you just couldn't stand giving her the satisfaction of thinking her kid had 'bested' yours, or that she was a better mom?
Yes - 14.9%
No - 85.1%
 
Have you ever—even once—wished your kid was more like someone else's child?
Yes - 35.4%
No - 64.6%
 
In what way?
More social, outgoing - 16.7%
More talented (i.e. a good athlete or artist) - 11.7%
Less geeky - 1.1%
More attractive - 0.3%
Better behaved - 60.2%
A healthier body weight - 3.9%
Smarter - 6.1%
 
Do you really dislike any of your kid's friends?
Yes - 44.3%
No - 55.7%
 
Do you have a favorite child? (We won’t tell!)
No, I love them all equally and differently - 76.6%
Sort of, but I squelch the urge to play favorites - 15.3%
Yes—I can’t help it! - 8.2%
 
Which of the following makes you feel most guilty when it comes to your family?
Spending too much time at work - 8.3%
Not playing enough with my kid - 21.2%
Yelling at my kids - 27.1%
Fighting with my partner in front of the kids - 9.7%
Getting distracted by my phone, email, texting, being online - 19.1%
Having second thoughts about becoming a parent - 4.2%
Wishing I could afford to buy more things for my child - 8.8%
Bribing my kids to do what I want/need - 1.7%
 
RELATIONSHIPS/SEX
 
Overall, does your partner pull his/her weight in the family?
Yes - 69.9%
No - 30.1%
 
What one thing do you wish your partner did more of? 
Cooking - 7.9%
Housework - 32.1%
Helping care for the kids - 20.5%
Playing with the kids - 17.9%
Spend time with me - 21.6%
 
Does your partner do more than you give him/her credit for to your friends?
Yes - 29.4%
No - 70.6%
 
Does your partner actually do some parenting jobs better than you?
Yes - 69.4%
No - 30.6%
 
Do you ever feel (worry) that your child would rather spend time with your partner than you? 
Yes - 28.2%
No - 71.8%
 
Which relationship is more important to you?
Yours with your partner - 34.0%
Yours with your kids - 66%
 
How often do you actually have sex with your spouse/partner?
Once or twice a week - 44.5%
Once or twice a month - 30.1%
Less than once a month - 10%
Sex? What’s that? - 15.3%
 
How often do you really want to have sex?
Once or twice a week - 50.3%
Once or twice a month - 27%
Less than once a month - 12.7%
Sex? What’s that? - 10%
 
Do you wish your partner would be more interested in sex? 
Yes - 30.1%
No - 69.9%
 
Have you considered an affair because your partner just doesn't fulfill your needs?
Yes I’ve had one - 6.1%
Yes but I wouldn’t actually do it - 17.7%
No way - 76.2%
 
Do you often fake enjoyment during sex, because it's easier to just give in?
Yep - 20.3%
Occasionally - 41.9%
Never - 37.8%
 
How do you really feel about your mother-in-law?
I can’t stand the woman. - 12.4%
Eh, I tolerate her for the sake of my husband and kids - 21.4%
I like her most of the time - 34.5%
I love her! She’s like a friend or second mom. - 23.4%
Not applicable - 8.3%
 
Do you like your mother-in-law better than your own mother?
Yes - 14.1%
No - 85.9%
 
Do you think your mother-in-law is a better grandmother than your own mom?
Yes - 19.4%
No - 67.6%
Not applicable - 13%
 
WORK & MONEY
 
Have you ever returned a gift your child received and gotten something for yourself? 
Yes - 11.6%
No - 88.4%
 
Have you ever spent any of your child's birthday or special occasion money on bills? 
Yes - 37.5%
No - 62.5%
 
Have you really started saving for your kid’s college education?
Yes, I/we started practically at birth - 21.6%
I/We put money toward college off and on, when possible. - 16.9%
I/We INTEND to, but there are other financial priorities right now. - 44.9%
No-I’m/we’re hoping to hit up the grandparents - 2.9%
No. Are you kidding? The kids will pay their own way. - 13.7%
 
Have you ever dipped into your child's college savings account to pay bills, take a vacation, or do a home improvement, intending to replace it? 
Yes - 15.3%
No - 84.7%
 
Did you replace it? 
Yes - 50.8%
No - 49.2%
 
Do you feel guilty, or figure it's justified? 
Yes - 79.7%
No - 20.3%
 
If you work outside the home, what is your main reason for doing so?
We need the money, plain and simple - 37.7%
I love my job - 6.4%
I’d go crazy at home with kids all the time - 9.9%
I do not work outside the home - 46%
 
Do you bring home the same amount of income or more than your partner?
Yes - 22.8%
No - 33.7%
I am not currently employed - 43.4%
 
Do you or your partner resent it?
Yes - 20.6%
No - 79.4%
 
Do you trust your partner to handle your family’s money?
Yes, he/she does it all - 27.2%
We share the responsibility and total transparency is the rule 37.6%
No—I manage the money - 35.3%
 
Do you ever fight with your partner over how much money he/she spends on things you consider unnecessary (electronics, clothing, gadgets, etc.)?
Yes - 42.5%
No - 57.5%
 
Do you have an allowance (a set amount of weekly or monthly spending/pocket money you don't have to answer for) for yourself?
Yes - 20.6%
No - 79.4%
 
Have you ever lied to your partner about the cost of a purchase you made for yourself or your kids?
Yes - 50.2%
No - 49.8%
 
Do you feel like you have to ask your partner permission before you buy something for your child that’s expensive?
Yes - 59.4%
No - 40.6%
 
When you go shopping, even if it's mostly purchases for the kids, do you worry about your partner finding out how much you spent? 
Yes - 36.5%
No - 63.5%
 
MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO TOOK THIS SURVEY
 
Are you a woman or man?
Woman - 99.1% 
Man - 0.9%
 
How many children under the age of 13 do you have or are under your care?
1 - 38.8% 
2 - 42.1%
3 - 12.7%
4 - 3.3%
5 - 1.0%
I do not have or look after any children under the age of 13 - 2.1%
 
What is your current relationship status?
Single, not dating - 6.1%
Single, dating - 3.6%
Married - 81.7%
Living with partner - 8.6%
 
What is your age?
Under 18 - 1%
18 to 24 - 6.9%
25 to 29 - 21.3%
30 to 34 - 34.3%
35 to 39 - 21.3%
40 to 44 - 11.7%
45 to 49 - 3.0%
50 to 54 - .7%
55 or over - .8%
 
What are the ages of each of your children?  (Please check all that apply.)
Less than 12 months - 20.1%
1 - 17.6%
2 - 24.4%
3 - 23%
4 - 19.1%
5 - 14.8%
6 - 12.8%
7 - 9.5%
8 - 8.3%
9 - 6.5%
10 - 5.7%
11 - 5.1%
12 - 6.7%
13 and over - 12.9%
 
What is the highest level of school you have completed or the highest degree you have received?
Less than high school graduate - 2%
Bachelor's degree - 32.5%
Graduated from high school or received equivalent degree (e.g., GED) - 11.1%
Master's degree - 14%
Attended college but did not graduate - 23.4%
Doctoral degree - .8%
Associate's Degree - 14.1%
Other professional degree (MD, LLB, etc.) - 2.1%
 
Which one of the following best describes your present state of employment?
Employed - Full time (30 or more hours per week) - 37.4%
Not Employed - Full-time student - 2.6%
Employed - Part time (Less than 30 hours per week.) - 14.4%
Not Employed - Stay-at-home mom - 37.7%
Not Employed - Temporarily unemployed - 5.6%
Other - 2.3%
 
Which of the following best describes your job? 
Professional (e.g., doctor, lawyer, teacher, etc.) - 35.4%
Self-employed (entrepreneur / small business owner) - 8%
Top management - 3%
Sales / technical - 7.6%
Middle management - 13.3%
Other - 13.5%
Administrative / clerical - 19.2%
 
61. What is your annual household income? (Please include all income for yourself and all persons living in your household from all sources. For example: wages, bonuses, profits, dividends, rental income, interest, etc.)
Under $30,000 - 12.3%
$30,000 - $39,999 - 7.6%
$40,000 - $49,999 - 9.9%
$50,000 - $59,999 - 8.9%
$60,000 - $69,999 - 7.3%
$70,000 - $79,999 - 8%
$80,000 - $89,999 - 6.3%
$90,000 - $99,999 - 6.7%
$100,000 to $149,999 - 13.7%
$150,000 to $199,999 - 5.8%
$200,000 to $299,999 - 4.6%
$300,000 or more - 0.9%
Prefer not to answer - 8.1%
 

For more conversations like this, be sure to watch Raising America every weekday at 12 p.m. ET on HLN. And be sure to tweet @KyraHLN with the #RaisingAmerica hashtag or leave your thoughts onFacebook.com.

 

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