What's more important to a dolphin than honor or country?
Sex, of course.
According to Ukrainian media reports, three highly trained dolphins belonging to the Ukrainian Navy escaped their handlers earlier this month and haven't been seen since. Are they deserters? Not exactly. Yury Plyachenko, a former Soviet naval anti-sabotage officer, posits that the dolphins are simply twitterpated and have gone off to observe the finer customs of the dolphin mating season.
The Ukrainian government is denying the whole thing, saying they don't even use dolphins for combat or defensive purposes, but pictures of dolphins equipped with military devices surface every once in a while in Ukrainian media. Furthermore, a military source told RIA Novosti that as recently as last year, the military started training dolphins to detect mines and attack enemy swimmers. The "killer" dolphins are even said to be equipped with pistols or knives on their heads.
For now, some of the Ukrainian Navy's most unique (alleged) assets may be MIA, but Plyachenko says if history is to be believed, they'll be back once they've taken care of... other duties.
"Control over dolphins was quite common in the 1980s,” Plyachenko told RIA Novosti. “If a male dolphin saw a female dolphin during the mating season, then he would immediately set off after her. But they came back in a week or so.”