Like Pandora's box, the past has probably left all sorts of little spirits running around in your brain, the least offensive of which is nostalgia. Welcome to Time Machine, where we'll bring back the best (and worst) of days gone by.
If you had a kid or were a kid in the late 1990s, you probably had a needy, fuzzy little lump of gibberish known as a Furby. It was a really hot toy for a while, before everyone realized it just never shut up. Really, there was no off switch, and to put it to bed you had to face the inexplicable guilt of tucking it away in a drawer or a box or something. Don't you miss that sort of joy?
Lucky for you, joyless Furby-mourners, Hasbro is re-releasing the toy, and it has all the bells and whistles of the modern age. Gone are the animatronic Mogwai eyes that went clack clack clack when it blinked. They're now fancy LCD-screen eyes that somehow look even more demented. The little monster still speaks its adorable language, but now it comes complete with an iOS app that can actually translate from Furbish to English.
For some reason, there's still no off switch.
Let's all marvel at new Furby's ability to eat things from an iPad (!!!), communicate with its Furbish brethren, and rock a rather glorious teal coat:
Hasbro, those sly dogs, are releasing the Furby 2012 Edition in the fall, just in time for kiddos everywhere to really want one by Christmas. It will set you back $60, but the joy you get in return will last for a lifetime -- or until you get frustrated and take out the batteries.