Look, we've read "The Nanny Diaries." We know how it goes.
You pay $30,000 for the right starch-collared, Manhattan preschool. A grand for the Bugaboo stroller. And $500 monthly for the mice to feed your pet bald eagle.
This is how New York City came to top Bundle.com's list of the cities with the most spoiled children in America. Also -- we suspect -- the cost of living, the great unequalizer.
The website built its rankings based on "spending by households with children at stores that sell toys, clothing and other services for tots, kids, and teens" over the last three years. And considering that New York is home to the store that sells this $2,500 Etch-a-Sketch and $25,000 Barbie foosball table, we can see how even just a couple of crazy, high-end purchases can tilt the balance in the city's favor.
(Though Baton Rouge, Louisiana, is still the place where that kid once bought Richard Pryor for $10,000 -- and it's nowhere to be found on this list.)
Following New York and staking its claim as home of America's second-most spoiled children is Manhattan's neighbor across the East River -- Brooklyn. It figures ... perpetually in Manhattan's shadows. Better start buying more of these if you wanna stand out, Park Slopers.
The next three cities on the list?
Miami, we understand. But Minneapolis and Tulsa? Whatever happened to those famous modest Midwestern sensibilities?
Well, you know what? Good for them. Having a city of spoiled children isn't necessarily a bad thing. Isn't 'spoiled' just a harsh-sounding euphemism for 'loved'? Right? Maybe??
The rest of your top ten, in order: Dallas, Atlanta, Los Angeles, San Diego and Ft. Lauderdale.
The full rankings run 36 cities deep, but let's skip ahead to the bottom of the list, where we find the homes of America's least spoiled children (which kind of sounds like code for "the places where parents just don't love their children that much.")
Your bottom five, ending with the least spoiled: Columbus, Ohio, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, St. Paul, Minnesota, and finally Madison, Wisconsin -- where apparently children are content to just go outside and, like, play or something.