Editor's note: Brianna Chessin is a producer for HLN Money Expert Clark Howard.
The visual assault happens pretty quickly after stores clear out their winter holiday displays. It starts with a few standard candy bars discreetly forming into heart shapes, and then the contagion spreads. By February 1, your favorite retailer is hemorrhaging pink and red.
The signs all proclaim “Happy Valentine’s Day!” Subtext: “Buy lots of our stuff! It’s the same stuff as before, but a different color. You know, to prove your love!”
This is out of control.
According to the National Retail Federation, the average American will spend $126.03 on Valentine’s Day this year. That’s the highest amount since the survey started ten years ago. Those numbers are enough to give my frugal heart a coronary.
I don’t do Valentine’s Day. I’m not anti-love and I’m not anti-gift, but I just can’t participate on principle. Call me a Valentine’s Day Grinch, but I don’t think I’m just being contrarian here.
I don’t see a lot of equality in this love-inspired holiday. The NRF survey found that men spend nearly twice as much as women on Valentine’s Day. Informal polling of my male colleagues indicated an even wider spending gap. It was also implied by my co-workers that they think women expect gifts and that the dollar amount can matter. It’s hard to support a holiday that may make men feel inadequate and women seem materialistic, not to mention one that marginalizes all those single Americans.
A lot of money is changing hands and it’s not surprising where it ends up. Yep, toward those stereotypical Valentine’s Day gifts. What’s not to love? Well, they’re not just trite; they’re also pretty depressing, the way I see them:
Flowers: Thank you. These are pretty and smell okay. But it’s February, so I know they’re neither local nor in-season. I’m pretty sure they’ll die soon. That’s probably for the best, though, what with my allergies.
Chocolates: Wow, thanks! I love chocolate. You paid too much, but they’re in a heart box which means they’re higher quality. I’ll just try one. Whoops, I ate the whole box. My pants feel tight. I’m so fat, how can you love me?!
Restaurant: Thanks. I guess you didn’t like the meal I slaved over last night, since we’ve got plenty of leftovers in the fridge. Isn’t this romantic, being packed in a tight space with all these other couples? Those other women’s pants don’t look so tight.
Greeting card: Um, thanks. I guess I’m generic enough that you can pin me down with a mass-produced catchphrase. Oh, you signed your name next to it to personalize it. That’s sweet.
Jewelry: Hold on. You spent HOW much of our travel budget money on this?!
I’ll admit, this criticism is pretty harsh (Forgive me, chocolate!). It just seems to me that you shouldn’t need a holiday to express your feelings, and you shouldn’t have to spend money to do so either. I’d rather have my husband open his mouth every now and then to tell me how awesome I am than to show me through a perfunctory Valentine’s Day gift. I know he wants the same from me.
So tonight, we’ve got a special night planned for our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple. We knew we had to do something big to sanctify such an important step in our lives. I’ll open a bottle of wine, maybe put on something more comfortable.
And then we’re going to do our taxes.
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