Abandon your lame Valentine's Day plans immediately and get thee to Portland, Oregon. Olympic Provisions, an area restaurant and charcuterie is offering a telegram featuring the most romantic of the deli meats: Salami.
The Salamigram features 3 or 6 "stems" (giant salamis) all wrapped up like a bouquet. This stunning arrangement is then delivered to the sweetheart or carnivore of your choice by the lead singer of The Tumblers, a local band, who will serenade the recipient with an original song, "Love is Where the Meat Is."
Unfortunately -- yet quite obviously -- the deal is only available in the Portland area (unless you know some very talented carrier pigeons). For a discounted price, you can just get the salami bouquet, but then it's not a Salamigram! It's just a bundle of delicious meats on a stick.
Okay, that sounds pretty good too.
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