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Say it ain’t so, y’all! Paula Deen has diabetes

  • Down-home TV chef has type 2 diabetes
  • In response, she is launching new diabetes site, pharmaceutical partnership
  • In (our) response, we wrote a poem

The queen of Southern cooking has formally announced she has type 2 diabetes. However, it’s clear she's not letting the diagnosis get her down. She told USA Today she is not only partnering with pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk, she’s also launching a new program called “Diabetes in a New Light,” which will offer lifestyle tips and -- of course -- recipes.

Deen appeared on NBC's "Today" with Al Roker and announced she was diagnosed three years ago, and says the news is “not a death sentence.” When Roker asked why she kept the diagnosis a secret, she said she had “nothing to give” her audience at the time.

She also admits that, yes, her infamously indulgent diet is “part of the puzzle,” but points out her media presence isn’t meant to be for everyday instruction. “It’s entertainment,” she said. “I’m your cook, not your doctor.”

The affable epicurean has come under fire for her high-fat, high-everything ways, most notoriously from fellow star chef Anthony Bourdain, who once called her “the worst, most dangerous person to America.” However, he said he “takes no pleasure” in her recent announcement.

But for those who practice moderation and love a kind face, Paula Deen’s a cultural staple! And for that reason, we’ve composed an ode:

Paula Deen the butter queen
May trade out fatty foods for lean
We know her well for morsels many
With carbs and sugar, grease aplenty
We love her so, for all these dishes
‘Cause butter is so darn delicious
But Internet’s her biggest fan
Where long live incidents with ham
And countless .gifs, .jpegs and .pngs
But now our queen gave us the news
Of diabetes, yes, type 2
And butter ne’er will be the same
But on her fun it won’t encroach,
She’ll share her “positive approach”
And in response she’s launched a site
To prove that living diabetic
Does not mean munching meals pathetic
Although she’ll likely have to cut
Those hamburgers inside donuts
And gooey cheese with macaroni
Sandwiches with fried bologna
And cakes, and breads and French baguettes,
Tell us, are you hungry yet?
Our Paula says she’ll see this through
And make new recipes for you
She’ll still be our butter queen
But now she’ll use more margereen.

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