Commentary: All adults obligated to report abuse!

Editor's Note: Stacy Kaiser is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert practicing in Southern California. She has worked with battered women, teen parents, abused children and families in crisis for the past 20 years. Her new book is called "How to be a Grown Up: The 10 Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know."

Finally! Consequences have been given to two of the key players (Joe Paterno and Graham Spanier) who, in my opinion, were responsible for NOT taking enough action to save the kids who were allegedly being abused by Jerry Sandusky! I am pleased to see that Penn State had finally stepped up and insisted that Paterno be dismissed from his duties at the school and that Spanier stepped down. Although they did not abuse the children, I think they didn't move strongly enough to stop it, and therefore it was allowed it to continue.

From the beginning of the allegations, this Penn State issue as a whole has had me upset and disappointed. It's never been about great coaching, sports or even legal obligations. It's been about each of us having the moral obligation to look out for and protect those who are weaker and more vulnerable -- in this case children.

In my view, adults need to protect kids and keep them safe at all costs. MANY people at Penn State failed to do that. Many of us are in jobs where we are legally mandated to report abuse on children. I am in a profession that both legally and ethically requires me to do just that. It's not easy, I have made other adults angry and feeling left betrayed by my obligation to report their actions.

And as hard as it is to have that responsibility on my shoulders, it's easier to divulge the often sad and sickening truth to authorities than knowing that innocent victims are being abused. It's heartbreaking thinking about how many kids could have been protected and saved had just one person who knew what was going on done the right thing. Even if I was not a mandated reporter, I would still turn in anyone that I believed was abusing a child out of the moral obligation. We adults all share that same obligation.

The Penn State case has been exposed, but abuse takes place every day and in every town and in all socio-economic levels. As a parent, mental health professional and provider of education to educators, I suggest the following ways for parents and those of us close to children to prevent these tragedies from happening:

• As an adult, keep the lines of communication open with children you are close to. Even college-age children will need a safe person to talk to if things get uncomfortable or abusive.
• If you suspect abuse is happening, don't brush it under the rug or wait until more information surfaces. Contact authorities immediately. They are trained to get to the bottom of the situation and see if abuse is really taking place; it is not your job to make that determination. In many cities, you can even call the authorities anonymously.
• Educate your children about good and bad touch, about how some authority figures take advantage of their authority and hurt others, and that just because someone gives you presents and takes you places does not mean that they can hurt you.
• If your child or someone you know has been victimized, make sure that they know that it's not their fault and encourage them to seek counseling.

As an adult, I encourage you to embrace your role as a stronger wiser protector of children by making it your job to take care of them when they are too young and powerless to take care of themselves.